Love and Loss

I have always loved dogs and lived with them as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl, I often saw my mom playing with the street puppies and dogs. My sister and I would join her in feeding and playing with them. When my mom had my brother, we met our first dog, whom we named Johnny. Johnny was a little puppy who followed my dad home from a convenience store after he fed him milk biscuits. Johnny refused to leave our home and roamed in our garden, melting all our hearts.

I remember begging my mom to allow me to keep Johnny, and she looked hesitant. One day, coming home from school, I found Johnny missing from our garden. I cried and threw a fit, saying he was just a baby and asking where he was. My mom smiled at me and told me to check our veranda. I was surprised to see my little Johnny sleeping peacefully, covered with a blanket above and below him. At that moment, I realized that my mom loved Johnny more than me.

Soon, my brother was born, and he and Johnny grew up together. Johnny would eat whatever we gave him without complaint, whether it was curd rice or chapatti. When any one of us cried, he would come sit with us and lick our faces and hands, trying to comfort us. When we adopted a few more street dogs and puppies and fed them biscuits and milk, Johnny, without any complaints or fights, allowed them to live in our home.

As I got into 10th standard, I had less time to play with Johnny or even take care of him well. He would always stand by the gates, barking as soon as he saw my school bus. He would send me off and welcome me back with those barks. Even when I started spending barely any time with him, his licks, barks, and wagging tail stayed constant. Like that, Johnny lived in our home as a fellow family member for 10 years before passing away due to old age.

My parents hid his death news from us children because they knew we would be too heartbroken. They told us he ran away because he was old now. A few weeks later, I learned that he had run away to heaven. In my heart, he left a hole so big which is yet to be filled. I feel a guilt so deep whenever I think of him. Only if I get another chance with him, I would treat him so much better. A dog's love is selfless and true. He was my entire childhood yet I realized his worth way too late. Only tears run when I think of him.